sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
