Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
