i dedicated my morning wood to you.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
my poor anus
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
