Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
