and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Dicks are not precious.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
