Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
