Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
