He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
