I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
