you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
