I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize