he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
