Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Thank you for not boning my boss.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Sorry about my life...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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