is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
