it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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