I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
did i walk over a car last night?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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