Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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