Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
