Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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