Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
