I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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