3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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