we're blogging at a bar
That's intense
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
