Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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