This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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