I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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