Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
