He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
