Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
