We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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