we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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