so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We need to rekindle our bromance
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
