...so i touched it.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
