You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
