Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
