They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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