so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
