someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
