I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
