Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
