i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
