wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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