YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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