Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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