my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize