Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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