She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
