i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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