Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
