Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
soo... how was my night?
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