Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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