It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
