Having a random hookup so left but love u
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
