You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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