she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
