Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
