Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
