Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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