There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
